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I can't think of anything to say.
Maybe at some point I will tell you about what I believe to be a shanty town situated next to my current temp job. MAYBE I will even take photos.
For now I just want to get out of here and hit the road.
Have a good weekend. Stay outta trouble, Internet.
Or if you get into any, promise to tell me all about it.
Um, I guess it's too soon for me to say I don't want to hear anymore about Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes right? What the fuck? Did Tom think Brad was getting too much press and he wanted some for himself? Who has ever heard of the publicst sending out emails and press release to the world saying YOOO HOO these two people are dating!? DEAR LORD. I mean WHO BELIEVES THESE PEOPLE ARE A COUPLE?
Ick. Shut up the fuck up, Hollywood.
An old photo of me and Ellery. He's feeding me grapes! Oooo, I love him so much I want to SQUEEZE HIS FACE OFF!
You know if you read this little site regularly (or semi-regularly or hardly ever) that I love my blog. I mean, I have a compulsion for trying to get it to look a certain way and I delete posts that I somehow deem unworthy of what I really want to say. I remember a friend asking me why I want to have something on the (dun dun DUUUN!) Internet where EVERYONE can see it when I could do the writing I want to do in a JOURNAL or somewhere that would be private, instead of in this very public and EXPOSED way. And I think the underlying question is what makes me think I have anything interesting to say that hasn't been said a MILLION TIMES BEFORE.
Well, I don't really know the answer to any of those questions. I don't know why I want people to read what I am saying, why I so rabidly want comments and feedback and to feel like 'you like me, you REALLY LIKE ME!' That's no different from most people, I mean, we all want to be liked on some level. But, here I am paying for this site and writing things and publishing them for whatever reason. Lately, I have been getting a lot of lovely emails from people and some blogs have deemed me good enough to actually link to me! Which strikes me as just SO NICE. Not only are THEY reading me but they want OTHER PEOPLE to read me too! Aw, SHUCKS!
People send me emails when I don't post for awhile to see if I am okay and to tell me to get my shit back in gear, and people wish me well with job interviews...I mean it's just, for lack of a better term, kind. Today a lovely girl who would like to be anonymous gave me a Pro account on Flickr. Just gave it to me! Again, SO NICE. Thanks, Mystery Girl! YOU ROCK! Photos for everyone!
I guess the best way to put it - why I have this blog - is that it's nice to have a voice. Yes, it's a teeny tiny corner of cyberspace, but it's MINE. (All mine!) And, to have it HERE is great because I heart the Internet. I have met friends through it, people so dear to my heart that I can't possibly explain it here. I have been able to go to amazing places and see awesome shows and communicate with people I think are just swell. And I think this World Wide Web gets a bum rap a lot of the time, with charming porn sites and freaks who hide behind identities which are not theirs, but there are freaks and weirdos in real life too. Of all the people I have met "here", and met later in real life have been nothing but sweet, lovely, and sure, a bit wacky. But you have to be a bit wacky to be worth a damn, between you and me.
Sometimes it can be lonely posting into the void, because you think you are writing something great, and then no one responds and it feels like its just lost. But I still SAID IT, and I put it out there and it was something I needed to say. For whatever reason, I wanted to put it here.
I haven't exactly completely figured it all out yet. But I'm glad if anyone likes what I have to say, and even if you don't - I'll keep saying it. Yon can't shut me up. Don't even try! And if you decide you DO like it, please send cheese and cute shoes. Size 8.
Last night Al came over and I cut her hair into some kicky fabulous layers which we immediately deemed sassy. Then we started saying "SASSY!" and then we missed Phil Hartman. Poor, Phil Hartman.
It was good she came over because the two nights before that, I came home, made a big bowl of popcorn and sat on my couch watching season 2 of Sex and the City. If I didn't know better, I would think I was suffering the Break Up Blues. But, somehow I seem to have missed out on all the hand holding, sex having, and date going of the relationship. Damn.
Yesterday morning I got sort of stuck in a hour or so period where I kept thinking about how this one time my ex-boyfriend told me I was "funny, smart and special" to which I replied, "that makes me sound like a retarded five year old". I mean, get thee a new vocabulary. Really.
My friend, Mereubu, has been cracking me up for approximately two days with a joke she wrote in an email yesterday. It was silly and dirty and I love her for it. I'd write it out but I fear it was one of those location specific "had to be there" kinds of things.
I am feeling pretty basic and a bit bummed right now (why aren't you responding to my "check in" email, Mr. HR Guy to Awesome Job? Why did you show me such an awesome job even existed if it wasn't going to pan out, Stupid Fucking Universe?!) so I started thinking about some people I think are fabulous and decided to give them a very rap star style 90's shout out/share them with you. You can thank me later, Internet.
- Big ups to Alex for emailing me excessively and coming over later tonight to drink with me/get me drunk. Right, Al!? I promise to drink AFTER I dye or cut your hair. Or at least I will save the DRUNK portion for afterwards. I am so considerate.
- A hearty YO to my cousin, whom I love. And who will send me IM messages and remember things that I have forgotten, or check on things she knows I am waiting for. And also, for sharing the same wacky sense of humor with me which leads me to believe that punchy weirdness TOTALLY runs in our veins.
- To all the blogs I like to read when I am bored. Which is a lot these days (thank you meaningless temp jobs! What UP?) lately they are most especially; Leigh, Mrs. Kennedy, and, of course, Sarah Brown, who's archives I read when I am depressed and I always leave feeling just a bit better. And like I want to write more things which are brilliant, exceedingly clever, and original. How does one orignally copy someone, I ask?
- Flickr. Cause sometimes you just want to kill some time.
- Thanks, new Garbage CD. I have had you on repeat for two days now, and I am not done yet.
- To my cat, (um, see below) for letting me put things on his head and then laughing at him. Oh, the guilt.
- Lastly to my homey Sarah, for what I am sure is going to be a very fun road trip this weekend. I love the feeling of rolling out of Boston, with the city behind you and the mountains ahead, knowing you are going to breath country air, take pictures of cows on the side of the road, and see a million stars. And, even better; I love the feeling of seeing that skyline as I come back knowing so many people I love are there, waiting for me to get home.
That you will later post on the Internet.
(I'm so mean! I took it off right after. I swear!)
I feel a bit brain dead today. Which can be prooved by the fact that I first wrote "about brain dead". Yes, what about brain dead?
Good fun busy-ish weekend. Although, I did get the perfect amount of Laying Around in My Big Bed time. I so love that time. At one point yesterday I looked around at Elroy, the iBook, and the green leaves outside and felt like making rock hands and yelling "Thank you, Apartment! Goodnight!" I am such a rock star bitch in my house.
Saturday night I went out to dinner with my dad and some friends and we had tapas. Oh, I love you, Tapas. You are so delicious. I have been thinking about my birthday (three months away) for some reason and I decided I think I want to go here on my birthday. You can sit outside while people bring you yummy foods and margaritas and sangria and what is better than that, I ask you? I think I would be happy even if I was there alone. Baked goat cheese and I would make a very lovely and delightful couple.
Last year I had such a Shitty Birthday Time and I am not going to go out of my way to plan something involved or try to have fun because if that never works out. If you go in thinking "this night is going to RULE!" (and if you are saying anything is going to rule, you probably deserve to have a bad time) then things end up sort of sucking. But if you are dragged out against your will you could end up riding around in some strangers van at 3AM or night swimming in the darkest part of the lake, wondering 'how the hell did I end up here?' and then, 'eh, who cares? Pass me a beer!'
It seems to me that the out of the blue diversions end up being the best part of the trip, and the thing that you remember the clearest was the exact and wonderful moment when you went off course.
My 21's birthday. Click for notes (heh) and I trip back through time. You should bring alcohol, since I am drunk in 90% of these photos. Hi, Mom!
Heather and I, 1999.
