pretty crabby

Lucie Says

Yesterday I called Elaine and Carl to see how their new house was and how things were going. I am sure you are glad to know, all is well. Lucie followed Carl around while he was on the phone with me, I could hear her in the background saying "I want to tell her something, Papa. I want to tell her something!" Finally he became exasperated and said "stop following me!" Then she got on, to tell me something:

Lucie: Hi.
Me: Hey, Lu. How are you?
Lucie: Good.
Me: Good. I'm going to come and see you tomorrow, okay?
Lucie: Okay...
Me:...
Lucie:...
Me: What's up, Luc?
Lucie: Today... TODAY. I saw TWO GARDEN SNAKES!
Me: Wow. You did? That's great.
Lucie: Yeah.
Me: What colors were they?
Lucie: One was orange... and I don't remember the other one.
Me: Oh. Okay. I am going to see you tomorrow, okay? Can I talk to your mom for a second?
Lucie: Yeah.
Me: Okay. Thank you. I'll see you tomorrow.
Lucie:...
Me:...
Lucie: (LONG PAUSE WHILE SHE LOOKS FOR ELAINE)
Me:...
Lucie: (SUDDENLY BACK) If you want to make bubbles, use dish soap and water.
Me: (CRACKING UP) Okay. Good to know!
Lucie: CLEAN water.
Me: Okay.
Lucie: And dish soap!
Me: Okay. Thank you. Can I talk to your mom now? See you tomorrow.
Lucie: MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

SCENES FROM LAST NIGHT.

The Benders Fucking Rule, originally uploaded by emilym.

Indeed they do. That is really all you need to know, Internet.

And there is, no way back from this.

I don't know how I am going to find time for a job. In the last 48 hours my life has been incredibly full and I have seen, talked to, or emailed almost everyone important in my life. Really.

Yesterday started with an emergency call from Elaine in the throws of Moving Madness (Version 2005) in which the movers are not at the old house on time, and the cleaners are not at the new house, removing dust balls and sanded wall dust that the painters left behind. Carl thought I could maybe come and "sing for them" while they packed or do something else equally worthwhile. So, of course, I rushed right over to flirt with movers, gawk at dust elephants, and take pictures of myself with my camera phone. Please do not say I am not helpful. Or not pretty. Because I am BOTH. Oh, and I'm funny! And OH SO TOTALLY MODEST.

I then went to pick up their kids from daycare and bring them back to my house to watch Finding Nemo. An excellent film, by the way. "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming", who can argue with that? As they were leaving, showed up Bob AND then as he was leaving my dad appeared, bringing me a classy white tea pot "just because". Life is grand. TEA FOR EVERYONE! I hope you like camomile.

Today I got up and went over to watch Mike and Wendi pack and that was also INCREDIBLY FASCINATING. So fascinating that I will go back tomorrow to watch some boys move furniture around. It has been decreed that I will "watch and direct" which I am, of course, TOTALLY GREAT AT.

I came home and began emailing Alex about plans for tomorrow (fancy drinks like single girls? Check! Possible show with boys to flirt with? Check!) and then was called upstairs to have drinks with my neighbors and landlord, who I realized suddenly was the complete and total dopelganer for my friend John, only John is white.

Now I am drinking tea in my bed and catching up on blog things I have missed during the day. A lot happens in a day! A lot happens when you are out AWAY FROM THE COMPUTER actually, like, having a life and shit.

So, yeah, I am BUSY. But I am also in bed on Friday night by 9:00 PM. A girl has to have priorities.

G'night!

Family

Family, originally uploaded by emilym.

Since I was talking about family yesterday I got thinking about us WAY BACK WHEN. Here we are, look we're twelve!

Well, some of us are fifteen. Others are about, my age now or younger. Eee!

There's no place like home, no place like home.

I have been having the most lazy few days and I am kind of bored. Well, not BORED but just kind of stir crazy. Yesterday I laid around, took some pictures, ate some lunch, laid around, read some of a book I borrowed from my friend, Bob, and laid around again.

I took a nap. I never take naps! And I wasn't even tired. I was just kind of like "well, not much else to do - guess I'll go to sleep." Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

The weather is SO FUCKING GROSS that I am trapped in side. I hoped I could be laying outside, going for walks, having some nature excitement. But, nope. I am taking naps. Eh.

I start my job next Wednesday and I have heard that the sun may come out tomorrow. Praise Sweet Baby Jesus, a weekend with SUN. That would be a Godly miracle, if ever there was one. See, the lack of sun is making me both CRAZY and RELIGIOUS. It's a dangerous combination - look at Tom Cruise. It's done nothing for him!

In a mo' I am heading out to help Elaine and Carl pack up the last of their old life and move to their next one. I am happy for them - they will have more space and a house ALL THEIR OWN. But, I am also sad because from the moment I moved here in 1995 their house (and John and Al's downstairs) was a second home to me. I spent so much time there, I don't even know how to calculate it. Some weeks I was there every day after work, or both days of the weekend; playing outside, drinking inside, eating cheese in the kitchen with Al. Now, Al has moved, Elaine and Carl are moving, it's all over! It feels like everyone is growing up - which is such a weird way to put it considering everyone has been GROWN UP for a while. I guess it is just CHANGE, and that is okay (Hi, I'm Stuart Smalley apparently) - it's just the way life goes.

I love love love my people, I'm so lucky!, and I will love them no matter where they are.

And I know, it's not the place that makes it home, it's the people.

This is how I roll.

Um. So...hi? HI! Hello! How are you?

It seems I have sort of reached a weird pinnacle here and I just don't have much to say right now. First of all, my brain is just utterly stuck on ONE TRACK these days and that is not much fun for ANYONE to read cause it's hella boring. Second, I have come to this point in my weird web life where I only want to reveal SO MUCH here and not everything because, well, you know - because some things are private. And I thought I would NEVER EVER say that because if I think things are private what the hell do I have a blog for? Huh? WHO DO I THINK I AM? I mean really. I have been stringing you along for months, Internet. I know. I just didn't know what my limits were, until I reached them. You just get to that point where you think "nope, this is uncomfortable!" and then you want to stop.

I am like that asshole girl who will only go to second base, until you say "I love you" and then she goes all the way. Man, That Girl sucks, huh?

As a thrilling aside I would like to note that Elroy is staring at me with ABSOLUTELY HUGE EYES right now. He is SHOCKED by what I am saying to you! Or he would be...if he spoke English and knew how to read.

Next week I start my new job and I hope that will supply me with some new exciting stories to tell you. Maybe there will be a dickhead there who I can mock endlessly! One can hope, right?

Bunches of my friends are moving this week, so in between OBSESSING about THINGS I have been helping them paint and pack and picking up their kids from daycare to take them for ice cream and so on. I wish the dreary ass weather was better. I could be working on my fucking tan! And THAT would make for exciting blog updates ("slightly burned today...freckles appeared this afternoon" etc) wouldn't it now?

My life is so thriling, isn't it?

Scotland, popes, and unicorns.

I dreamt that I was in a castle in Scotland, visiting some people I don't know. At one point, I was in a small side room trying to put a baby to sleep and looking out the huge floor to ceiling mirrors. There was an earthquake or something and I looked up in the mountains to see two giant red barns roll down the mountain, crashing and banging as they went, sending horses running - right by the house and away into the distance.

The sky was light and dark and suddenly there were these strange looking Pope people in the field. Dirt started to fall from the sky and then the popes turned into unicorns.

You should obviously be listening to 70's glamrock while you read this, because I am CLEARLY high as a fucking kite.

Unicorns??

Like a record baby, right round right round.

Last night I started to feel incredibly sick and bizarre and could not move or get of the couch. Which wasn't very ideal since I was at my friends house. "Hi, I'll just lay here on my stomach with my face pressed into the couch. Work around me!" Yeah. Great. I'm so social, ass up in the living room. Oh well, my ass has always been fairly social.

Wow. I have no idea what that means, SWEET.

Today my stomach still sort of hurts and I cannot shake this weird sleepy fog I have been in for approximately a week. I haven't been eating very well and when I am sleeping, I am DREAMING constantly which is, between you and me, not very fucking restful.

I think this must be what going insane feels like. Or being a drug addict. Except without the fun of crack houses and meaningless sex with strangers. Damn, I always miss all the fun.

I have to come to the point in my overanalyzing of EVERY LITTLE THING that now I am questioning every solution I come to. I break it down, POINT BY POINT, and think about how every instict I have is WRONG. It's fun!

What is going to happen is that I am just going to suddenly DECIDE on whatever it is I want to do. Then I will have this train of thought which begins and ends with "I hate waiting!' and then I will surge ahead, not caring about the outcome, just needed to GET THERE ALREADY.

Some people call this BRAVE. It's only because they don't really know better. They don't realize, it is all I know how to do.

Chooo chooo! Next stop: SANITY!*

*ha ha HA HA HA.

Drinks for everyone.

Hey, Internet!

I got a job!

Commence celebration!

"but it still felt good to be here, still felt good to be alive. If I could do anything I want, if I could do anything at all..."

I took a walk this morning and thought a lot. And walked. And thought. Walked and thought. Thought and walked. THOUGHT THOUGHT THOUGHT. You get the picture.

My brain hurts.

Yesterday I asked Al, "what was I thinking about last week at this time? I know it was SOMETHING but I don't know what it was." Probably a job. Yeah! A JOB. Remember when I was looking for one of those? Wow, that sure was fun!

I actually had an interview yesterday and was able to turn my loud loud thoughts for the three hours I was there, but the second I stepped outside my brain went "Hey? You! Remember that stuff you've been thinking about for three days! YOU OBVIOUSLY NEED TO THINK ABOUT IT SOME MORE."

I have this way. This way where I ANALYZE every little fucking thing until it almost doesn't exist. I talk about it with Pinky. I talk about it with Al. I talk about it with my cousin. I talk about it with my mom. I talk about it with ANYONE WHO WILL LISTEN. I am One Track Mind Girl. And it is really fucking boring. I would like to apologize to all my people who have listened to me in the past three days. As much as you are sick of me? Yeah, I am that SICK OF MYSELF and so much more.

Every song I hear I can directly relate to my own personal problems. Every thing I see on TV, makes me think "hey, that is relevant to my issues!" Every thing is SO VERY TIMELY. And it is ALL ABOUT ME.

Man. I am BOR-ING.

I think a lot about timing. And how the world just really likes to fuck with us. I mean, it seriously does! I cannot even express to you how SANE AND HEALTHY I was about THIS VERY ISSUE last week. REALLY! I was OVER IT! I was ALL BETTER! And then my weirdo sanity had some bizarro effect on my universe and made everything more intense and more real and suddenly TOTALLY THERE AND AVAILABLE TO ME. Which is really confusing. And really really REALLY FUCKING WEIRD.

I am very confused.

So. Yeah. I haven't thought about much else in five days, Internet. And so I haven't had much to say here. I did watch the Britney and Kevin show - because I could. Because it was there. Man, that was sort of a train wreck, huh? WHY is she doing this? She had one remotely private part of her trashy life and now she is exposing that to us too. It's seriously only a question of time before we see her vagina, you know that, right?

And since I said "Britney Spears" and "vagina" - I just upped my stats exponentially. Hi, perverts! Welcome to my crazy brain!

I hope you brought some booze. You are TOTALLY GOING TO NEED IT.