Welcome to the crazy train

I feel nuts.

I was sitting here at work earlier BORED OUT OF MY HEAD AS USUAL when I just started to feel so antsy, anxious, and crazy that I could barely stand it. Maybe it was that second cup of coffee but it was also just ME.

Do you ever just want to crawl out of your own head? I think if I was at home I would have laid down and tried to go to sleep just so I could STOP THINKING ALREADY. But I am sure that wouldn't have worked for the fact that my feet were all jittery and my heart was racing.

Finally, I just had to get up and run the hell out of here. I walked around the block a few times which sort of helped except I seemed to take a weird route and was walking through the ghetto (or perhaps the ghetto-lite?) and that made me feel nervous too. Which I normally wouldn't except did I mention the NUTSO part?

I came back and Al suggested that perhaps I was having a panic attack? And looking at that list of symptoms (scroll down) - I guess I was.

Yay. Lucky me.

So, now I am sitting here feeling sort of confused and freaked out. Trying to breathe deeply. Drinking water. Wishing I could go home.

Somedays, life is just overwhelming.

Comments

[briantologist]

Jesus, welcome to my life. It's usually a combination of anxiousness and crushing despair -- but sometimes one or the other -- that drives me outside, but no matter what it is, I'm out the door at least three times a day (in addition to leaving for lunch). Sadly, it's about 50 percent of why I started smoking again.

[styro]

urgh, panic attacks suck. I used to get them quite frequently, monthly, in fact, around the time of my period. I finally found a doctor who'd prescribe me year-round birth control instead of anti-axiety meds... I haven't had a full-on panic attack since. The anxiety drugs were OK, but after a while they have a zombification thing going for them.

[styro]

PS: i hope you never have another one EVER. xoxoxo!