Dirt, it's what's for dinner.

Okay, so I have been thinking about this for a long time and the time has come for me to say it. Are you ready? It is sort of revolutionary but here goes; I absolutely hate anti-bacterial products.

Here is something you may not even know or realize - REGULAR SOAP IS ANTI BACTERIAL. Getting rid of germs and beasties is what your old fashioned man made BARS OF SOAP are there to do. Add hot water and you have a regular GERM KILLING MACHINE. Do you know why we are getting bombarded with things like e-coli and the fucking weird alien bird flu? Because germs will FIND A WAY. They will find a way around your anti-bacterial dish soap and tissues (and WTF because you are BLOWING YOUR NOSE into them so all you need to do is THROW THEM AWAY and wash your hands and BE DONE WITH IT. God!) and come out stronger on the other side. It's like Jurassic Park or something where even the all female population found a way to make babies and Jeff Goldbloom got all serious and said "life finds a way!" Or was it Sam Neal? Who cares! Germs are the dinosaurs of germs! Or something that makes sense!

Styro and I had this long conversation the other day about how we are so tired of people and their sterile bubble lives. Everything must be clean and devoid of dirt! Wash your hands before you come inside! Leave your shoes in the hall because GOD FORBID YOU BRING A GERM INSIDE THE HOUSE. I concluded that if and when I have kids, I want them outside all the time! They will live outside! I will FEED THEM DIRT! And they will not be sterile pasty children who crumble under the weight of a cold. They will be HARDY and germ ridden! Aren't you psyched? Don't you want to come over like RIGHT NOW and play with my non-existent dirt babies? Yeah, I thought so.

So, by doing my part I will continue to buy regular tissues that do not repel my snot into the air (because seriously how does an anti-bacterial tissue EVEN WORK?) and soap to wash my dishes which does not render them a completely sterile surface. Yes, the cat hair stays. Do come over and have a burrito! Just remember to wash your hands before you eat it.

You know, if you feel like it.

Comments

[styro]

I am totally making dirt-burritos for lunch tonight. also, I forbid anti-bacterial anything (except neosporin, because that's ONE place that it's OK, to PREVENT INFECTION IN OPEN WOUNDS) in our house. Washing all that anti-bacterial shit down the drains is SO BAD for us, long-term. HELLO SUPER-BUGS. We hear you are hear to KILL US DEAD.

[citywendy]

Did you notice that your site has ads for something that gets rid of fishy vaginal odor? i say we just embrace our fishy twats and be done with it already!

[B]

I read something recently that said antibacterial soap wasn't really all that much better for you than good, old fashioned soap. Unless you're juggling crap, I don't think there would be much need for it.

[Melanie]

Non-existent dirt babies! Too funny . . . I think have some non-existent dirt babies, too. And I totally agree with your rant. Cleaning your house is so bad for your children.

[Em]

B - I don't understand... that is what I am saying. Anti-bacterial soap is useless and pointless because you can just use regular man made soap. I guess you are agreeing with me? And I should just say thanks. So...yeah.

Wendy, yeah, that is weird. I don't know how these adds go up there. And I embrace everything about myself! I am very flexible!

[mark]

I'm going to go use the bathroom right now, and I'm not going to wash my hands when I'm finished. It's not like I'll pee on my hands anyway.

[erika]

I completely agree! It's also very hard to find non anti-bacterial hand soap in the regular grocery store. I rant about this all the time.

[jen]

you should definitely have your kids outside. the more they are exposed to, the stronger their immune system will be. top that with a healthy lifestyle and you're a natural germ killing machine. why can't we rely on simple biology all of the sudden? i'm going to blame it on the media. ;)

[Joolie]

I would definitely need antibacterial soap if I were a crap juggler. Or maybe a surgeon. Otherwise, forget it.