Thoughts I Had While Briefly Watching the Grammys' (or is it Grammies?)

(I have my period, so please note these were written when I was at my very most bitchy)

- Nicole Kidman is a robot mannequin. She's doesn't clap, she just sits there with her plastered on bitch face until her new gayboyfriend looks at her while he is clapping and then it seems to compute, "OH, I SHOULD BE CLAPPING!"

- Chris Martin needs a t-shirt that fits. Every time he sings, he puts his arms up and we all have to see his muffin top. Put your fucking arms down or get a longer shirt, Douchebag.

- What is with Madonna and the assy leotards? Is it 1985?

- I could use Beyonces earrings as a chandelier in my studio apartment.

- Kelly Clarkson should compose herself. Only dogs can hear her now.

- Gwen Stefani looks like she is wearing a mumu. And all that hair bleach can't be good for her English fetus.

- I dislike text messages which say "OK". Oh, wait. That was one from my LIFE and not the Grammys/Grammies.

- I never liked her, but now I am so over Mariah Carey. Seriously. Put some clothes on, Trampie.

Comments

[Cat]

gwen also look as big as a house, like she's having triplets. but maybe that was the moo moo.

and i am so over madonna's freakishly ripped body. she no longer looks awesome for her age, she looks scarey and veiny.

[Em]

Word. She looks like sinewy beef or something. We get it, you're ripped and you could crush our heads with your freakish thighs.

[minnie]

yes! veiny. omg. she is looking gross.

[minnie]

also, i dont knwo whether to cry or be somehow impressed that a grown man would be wearing a lavender suit with huge lapels.

[citywendy]

I hate nicole kidman!!

[Cheeky Prof]

LOL

Reading this, you almost make me sorry I missed it!

[Loose String]

Cris Martin can't wear a shirt that fits. It's in the emo-boy hand book. He took an oath.