Mom and Dad, please skip this one.

So, here at Pretty Crabby I kind of shy away from somethings. You know like talking too much about poop or sharing things about my monthly cycle, cause you know, whatever. You've been there in your own life (or maybe not, LUCKY) - you know how it is. And EW, who wants to read about that really? I will not become a Body Function Blog because that's just not what I am about. And also because, you know, I never poop or fart. I am perfect and odor free!

But things I will write about include cheese, bad moods, and sex. Yes, SEX. And you are now reading my very first SEX POST. Rejoice in your own way.

Here is my question, or my general wonderment if you will (and I hope this will become something the three or four of you who read regularly will discuss in comments. I want to know what other people think! I MUST KNOW!): why is it that sex seems to be all about, how shall I put this delicately?, the dude getting off.

I am not only writing from my own experience (although I have been lucky to be with people who actually care about me and, well, where I am at. God, I am so embarrassed) as well as many convos I have had with my friends. And, here is what; I think this is kind of our fault, girls. I mean, we need to SPEAK UP. Boys don't really know because it seems like we are all CONDITIONED to think that once that is it FOR HIM, then that is it.

It seems like once the guy, well...gets there (oy), everything kind of stops. The end! Good time over! And yes, there are physical things happening but does the guy not have, you know, hands and a mouth (seriously, so embarrassed! Yet, still writing!)? And don't we also have a mouth to say "Hi!! Remember ME!" It's just so skewed. We are fucked up and we need to say something! Rise up! Demand your good time! REVOLT! Or something!!!!!

So, what do you think? I am going to stop before I dig myself a huge giant hole, but I am really curious what other people are thinking about this. Are you thinking about it?? Is it only me?

Share. Won't you?

UPDATE: Okay, my own site has decided I can no longer comment (it's all SHUT UP, You Again!) but I wanted to add this:

Last night a certain person told me that when a guy is done he just doesn't want to have sex anymore and I am wondering what if we (the girls) did the same thing. That would be weird! And just UNLIKE the way things usually happen.

I don't even have an issue with it, I just think it is interesting and sort of weird. Which is sort of like sex as a whole. Interesting and weird! :)

Comments

[jen]

I HAVE HAD THIS VERY CONVERSATION - more than once. I *HAVE* spoken up cuz I'm all, "du-uuude, you *are* kiddin me, right?"

depending on your conditioning, I think this can be an awkward convo, however, I think it's all in the approach. I use humor and something akin to "uh, little help?" and yes, i am bent b/c I think it is selfish (and THAT so helps "the mood").

He says he doesn't like to go "manual" for lack of a better way to put it, b/c um, "he was just there" so to speak. However, on the occassion he doesn't get there (which happens, rarely but does), I have some leverage and he'll try to make it so that I have the Happy Ending.

I also try to be honest with where I am at - like "sorry, it just aint gonna happen tonight, hon") so you know, save him from a heroic effort (sometimes you just know that no matter how great the effort.....or maybe it's just me).

I also believe in the trade off...there have been time I don't/he does, right? then the next time, it's all about me. not to sound too selfish, but damn if I don't love those nights. heh. I just had one fo those evenings recently, and I just about high fived him when he called us "even".

Good topic.

[Em]

Right! And I think if we DO speak up then the boy is totally all about it. Like, "oh, yeah right!" I totally completely take the blame for this and think all my girlfriends do too. It's just such a weird thing - like we just accept it because it is evolutionary or something. And I DON'T but its just like we all deal with the fact that the whole act is OVER when he is...over!

I mean, bullshit!

[joshua]

not that i know about such things, but i have heard that maybe sometimes girls don't like it if it is *too much* about them. the heroic effort, as you say, can have an air of desperation about it.

[Sally]

This is why you need to find someone that is good to go for a few times in a night...I have been with 2 that were ready to repeat after a rest. Very nice.

[Em]

Yeah, I am lucky that way and all is well in my world. My main issue is when the guy is done it is just sort of EXPECTED that that is it. What if it was the other way around? We're (the gals) done and then we roll over all "goodnight, honey!" That just never happens, and I wonder why.

[lola]

Because women take longer, on average?

[joshua]

because with a man it's not so much an issue, so you can save that till the ending. also, a woman doesn't have to stop for a while, but a man does. so, that just seems like a better ending. if everyone's had their fun, then it's a happy day, right?

[mike]

i am with you..i like turning a girl on first..or in the middle and last after me..just depends on who i am with..and i can go a few times in a night so i always manage to take care of my partner..but some guys may not know how, and are afraid to look bad..just my 2c!

[ozma]

Hmmm. Sad truth is if they don't know already, you have to train them. If they don't train, you may have to leave them. While the best ones know already, the good ones train easy.

I've always found there is an upside to the whole guy getting off easy thing, if you are lazy. You don't have to do much. I really like that about being a girl.

[erika]

I trained my husband from the get-go. Now the unspoken rule is that I get off first and then he can have his way with me. ;)

[m44]

Just followed this from an Elvis Costello link....Elvis Rules by the way.

Maybe it is my swollen head (no pun honestly) but it is almost as much fun pleasing a woman than being pleased by one. Sounds like the crabby one is hanging with the wrong fellas.

Cool site

[Em]

No, I have a great great dude in this respect and many others. I apparently cannot make myself clear on what I am trying to say.

[doc slm]

Sometimes I give myself a happy ending after the happy ending. Sometimes I ask for a happy ending. Sometimes we have a happy ending together.

[Al]

Well frankly I think this is due to two distinct factors: 1.) it takes most women a LOT of practice and/or time to become multi-orgasmic and 2.) most men are never multi-orgasmic (past the age of 20 or so, anyway!).

The Big O is such a different type of event for men and women-- for us girls it is stimulting in and of itself, and can lead to more and more, whereas for the guy, it's the culminating event, the "little death". So yeah, the classic strategy is to focus (together!) on the girl getting as much as possible before the boy goes. But it's not the only way, of course-- e.g., some guys have enthusiasm aplenty even after The Event-- but generally the fun lies in learning to do stuff that gets you (the girl) off in ways that make the guy build and build and build, which is best for his O.

May I just say, for the record, that at my age (44) I have often found myself waiting around for the GUY. Despite what I've written above, it is likewise rude for a girl to have 8 orgasms and then lose interest in the guy's big ONE. But Jesus sometimes they can take forever. For most (older?) men, 'taking forever' gives them the big Super O, so that is important. But crikey, sometimes I'm like, dude, I'm spent and want a sandwich, can we move things along?

In the semi-bragging department, I can say from varied personal experience that it's true that young men and older women make great partners in this regard. However you risk, there, the insanity that is young guys....

[jenB]

i would rather watch tv most of the time anyhow.

god, what has happened to me?

[bill]

People you're all thinking way too much. It's sex! Do what you want when you want. If your not satisfied move along & find another way, or atleast threaten your partner that you will. Oh yeah, "huge giant hole" never use this terminology when writing about sex please.