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Mmm mmm good.

I regularly tell people that I like that I am going to eat them up. Or squeeze them a lot. Or maybe smoosh them and put them in my pocket. You know, I'm flexible!

I also have been known to bite and sometimes I have to RESTRAIN MYSELF from biting hard and HURTING SOMEONE. I just like them and think they are so yummy and delicious, I WANT TO INJEST THEM. It's weird, it's twisted. I know. Trust me, I know. I also do it with my cat, and usually I just knaw on his ear a little and he gets me later by waking me up subtley nibbling on my arm. One of the first things I am known to say in the morning is, "please don't lick me. It feels weird." And so then he bites me, you know, just a little bit. He has learned. Licking, I don't like. Biting? Biting a little is okay.

Lucie (age 6) is awesome about all this because as I have said before, when I tell her I am going to eat her up she says "do it." This has become a running joke as well. DO IT. Eat us up! Right this minute. DO IT. GO. I'm ready.

Anyway, the other morning I may have crossed some sort of serial killer/stalker/weirdo line when I said something like "oooooooo, I am going to squeeze you and smoosh you until your head pops off and then I will keep it in my desk drawer! And then when I open it during the day you'll be there and you'll say 'HELLO!' and it will be great!" Um. Yay? I guess?

Apparently I am like two steps away from having severed forearms and shoulders in my fridge. Consider yourself warned.

Comments

umm, yeah, that was ridiculously funny.

Cat ears are among the finest nibbling foods. Especially if you just rub your lips on them. They're so soft! Gus has among the very softest ear leather in all the feline community. As he and Elroy seem to be cut from much the same cloth, I'm guessing Elroy's got good biting ears too.

Dear Internet: I am a wackjob. Love, me.

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