pretty crabby

And I was happy to be alive, in a magic world.

This weekend I went to New York. I walked A LOT, visited Central Park, saw a guy puking on the street, met my best friends baby, and hung out with a lady who is just as nice as I knew she would be.

Sadly SB and I didn't get to go to the Daily Show since some asshat with an ear piece told us it was sold out. Um, but "I have tickets" I said. He replied, asshatly, EVERYONE has tickets. Well. WHAT IS THE POINT OF TiCKETS? Thanks, Jon!

So, instead we gathered up our shit and went to see Knocked Up. It was all okay in the end. Phew, I know you were worried.

You can see all the pictures here. That ought to be really thrilling to you for about two minutes. Enjoy!!

PS. This has been making me laugh all day long. It is just too great, if I do say so myself!

I can walk under ladders

The week I was born the horoscope for Cancer said "a baby born this week will be lucky all it's life". I know this because it is in my baby book. Sometimes I feel just okay about things and something I feel like that really is true.

I got a job this week. After about 12 interviews (maybe less, maybe more) someone finally wants to hire me! I must have finally pushed my boobs out far enough! Score!!

Anyway, it's a pretty awesome and "important" job. I will be working as an executive assistant in a department with a lot of super tight deadlines and stuff that has to be done exactly right the first time. This makes me nervous if only because I don't even post a entry to my blog without changing it four times immediately afterwards. So, this means, DOUBLE & TRIPLE CHECKING everything in the new place. At least when I start. Sometimes I get bored and attention to detail is a challenge for me. I know going in that I have to be aware of this, but I still get a little scared.

The cool job also decided I was awesome enough that they offered me about seven grand more than I asked for. I will be making the most I have ever made and I kind of feel like a GROWNUP about it. It's weird. I feel like I could get ahead on bills, pay back people who lent me money during leaner times, and maybe even go on vacation or something. What a novel thought!

I was already feeling pretty lucky after I got the job offer yesterday and thought about it all night and all morning (while I contemplated crazy exotic vacations as I took a shower) and then today I went to lunch and this happened.

So, yeah, job schmob. Now I KNOW I am lucky.

PS. Dear Whoever is Reading My Blog From Hinesburg, Vermont: Did I go to highschool with you? If not, do I know you? Who are you?

A post about my cat. You've been warned.

Oh my god, you guys? Seriously? Last night I was in hell.

Remember that other time Elroy got the matts??? Well. They are back. And they are angry.

I am not entirely sure what causes them. Is it because he is so fat that he can't maintain his own ass? What is going on there? Whenever he tries to um, access, his hind quarters he kind of falls over on one side. It is pretty funny actually. It is very Weeble-esque.

On Tuesday night I noticed that the matt was growing in size. It was large and well, to be quite honest, it was stinky. I know, SO GROSS RIGHT?! And if it was easy to simply SOLVE I would just go ahead and do it. But it is not easy. It is the very opposite of easy.

Last night when I came home I saw immediately that he couldn't even really sit down (I know, you are calling the ASPCA right now, right?) and so I did what any rational person would do.

First, I swore. This was not the first thing I wanted to do on a Thursday night believe you me! But then I gathered him up and PUT HIM IN THE SINK. All 17.5lbs of him. Then I sprayed the hose on his ass. You can imagine how PLEASED this made him!! I even squirted some soap on him and tried to sort of clean things up. It didn't really work. I rinsed him off and let him jump out of the sink. He went and furiously tried to clean himself off in the corner (weeble!) and then he stormed over to another spot and tried again (wobble!).  I cleaned up the series of puddles and grabbed the buzzers and then we got serious.

Okay. It was gross. I will spare you all the details but please picture (if you will) me in a black shirt and skirt, all wet with cat hair and soapy water, holding my cat with one hand, trying to grasp his tail between my knees (not THAT way) and trying to SHAVE HIS ASS with the other hand. ONE HANDED. I am totally joining the circus, you guys!

Also, please imagine the noise coming out of my cat which sounds something like RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOWLLLLLLLLLLLLLLGRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOW!

Yeah, it is super good times!

Anyway. I think I solved MOST of the problem. To be honest, there are two very small matts left and I think one might be his tiny cat penis. I don't want to shave that off.

If you would like to know the moral of the story here it is: do not get a 17 pound long haired cat who cannot groom his own ass. I got the last good one.

A thousand different versions of yourself

I cannot wrap my head around everything that has been going on lately.

It seems like everyone I care about is in the middle of a shit storm and I am just watching them, trying to pass them an umbrella, ducking and covering when and where I can.

That said, I am not unhappy or depressed myself. Does that make me a bad friend? I am trying to focus on my own stuff and deal with my own life and not get bogged down in everything and everyone else (hello, run on sentence). I feel like that was my lesson in the last year. Just try to get through MY OWN CRAP and not get absorbed in the drama of everyone else. It is all I can do really. I still want to help my friends and be there for them but I can't take on their problems as if they are my own. I guess that is as clearly as I can explain it.

I still have no real job, I am temping at a place which is just okay but not where I want to be very much longer. I am trying to remedy that. I am being pickier about interviews because DEAR GOD how many times can I say I am great? How Up With People about myself can I get? I am a good worker, hire me. The end! If I ever have to interview people I am going to ask them new and different questions like, do you hate working as much as I do? Do you want to join a lottery pool with me? Things like that, etc etc.

I've been thinking about starting up a new website. Maybe with some advice and thoughts about beauty products or hair crap? You know I am obsessed with it, I might as well just start doing it as a hobby. Maybe it needs to be more specialized? I don't know. I am totally brainstorming here now and IS THIS THING ON? This is the most boring post ever.

The only interesting thing I can think to write about is the dude who came into my work on Sunday. I was working for my friends at an Open House (my real estate agent friends from the last job) and this guy came in... well, he was a guy. He was dressed pretty dude-ish with shorts, a t-shirt, sneakers. You know, fairly harmless and plain. But then! THEN!! He had his long red hair up in a crazy messy bun and AND! He was wearing green eyeshadow. Messily applied green eyeshadow. And DANGLY BEADED EARRINGS. ? Hmm. I mean, I am open minded and I try not to be judgemental (sometimes) but I have to say it confused me. Just the variety of things was confusing. Like, who wears sneakers and dangly beaded earrings? He needed a THEME to his outfit. And he was perfectly nice but the hand crafted green bead earrings were waving in the breeze as he and I chatted and I wanted to be like "dude, SERIOUSLY?"

I mean, clearly, with that outfit he should have worn hoops.

7 minutes in heaven

Miss Cat tagged me to write about 7 things about me. Just 7 things? 7 things you don't know? I am not sure of the parameters but here goes.

1. When I was eight I went to Canada with my dad and his partner and I spent much of the time in the back seat with many pillows and blankets and my walkman playing True Blue by Madonna and learning all the words. I was called Princess Fluff (cause of all the pillows and blankets!). Fear me.

2. I know my boyfriend about four different ways. The world, it is small. For example, he used to play in a band with a boring guy I dated; I am friends with his ex girlfriend (and no, it's not weird, thanks for asking!) and his ex girlfriend also used to work with my dad's partner. So, in conclusion, he could not hide from me. Live it learn it love it.

3. I am sitting here writing this in my underwear watching Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D List. Bet you didn't know THAT about me!

4. I don't have a hair goal and that saddens me. Lately I have been wearing it wavy and letting it be who it is, but I need more products. Maybe my hair goal will be something like Charlie's Angel's era Drew Barrymore with the long curly waves. Is that unrealistic? I want Botticelli hair! I want to wake up with cherubs flying around me and harps playing!

5. Lately my favorite nail polishes are Oh... to be 25 again by OPI and this one called Linger by China Glaze. I wear it on my nails and feel like a soccer mom who just got a fancy makeover. I don't know what this says about me.

6. I can't stop Twittering. I also keep checking Goodreads yet haven't picked up my book in about two weeks. The Internet, it is sucking out my brains.

7.  They have free coffee at my temp job and last week this took an exciting and unforeseen turn when free ICED coffee appeared. I was so thrilled about this! And now I have been drinking about five large iced coffees a day. Perhaps this explains all the crazy dreams. Hmm...

Now I am supposed to tag seven people. Who do I want to inflict this horror upon? Maybe Erin, Angela, Jen, Wendy, and Holly. I can't think of seven.  I need more coffee.