I'm sick and may be halucinating. You've been warned.

I remember that breathing was nice. Smelling things, that was nice too. I have not been able to use my nose in any real way for about a week now. I won't tell you about what is going on INSIDE MY NOSE, it's not pretty. The other night it was completely and totally blocked as if I was trying to breathe through a brick, yet, it was also dripping. That? Was disgusting. I would try to fall asleep and then I would feel it, about to drip. I finally fell asleep literally holding a clump of toilet paper next to my head. Yes, I have a boyfriend. No one knows why.

Coming back to work after time off has been very hard. My body hurts. I feel old. Today I think I had a hot flash. Why is the screen blurry? Am I going blind? Are you there God? It's me, Complainey.

So. I'm confused about this whole TIME THING. Specifically, how is it already December almost?!? I mean, REALLY. Things are flying by and I know I already said that but I am SERIOUS NOW and I need things to slow down. I feel like tomorrow i am going to be sitting in a rocking chair on a porch somewhere, surrounded by 17 cats.

I've decided that the only way to combat the whole HOLY SHIT TIME STOP FUCKING ME OVER thing is to have a lot of fun. I am getting excited for Christmas and presents and also the 11 days in a row (YES, ELEVEN) that I will have off of work. My mom will be coming to visit and maybe we'll go shopping and we'll probably lie around and eat cheese and watch movies. Sweet. I am so good at all of those things.

Oh, and soon my best friend and her cute adorable most excellent baby will be moving closer to me. Which is rad and makes me so happy. If life is going to be this fast and this short, I want to spend it with people I like.

Have I mentioned my boss is being a crab lately? He wants me to read his mind. WHERE DOES IT SAY 'mind reading' ON MY RESUME? Um, exactly nowhere. 

Last night I had a dream that I rode up to the top of a hill on a little bus with a bunch of people I didn't know. The bus was bigger than the top of the hill so we kind of rocked back and forth on top of the hill, looking out over the landscape. It was really beautiful and amazing, but it also scared the shit out of me.

That's what life is like, you know?

Comments

[Nate]

Oh, didn't you know? Mind-reading is a vital part of any job function. Oh, sure, it's never listed on any job description you'll ever read, but THAT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO ALREADY KNOW. Get it?

Working sucks. Can we all just be subsistence farmers?

[C]

I think mind reading is necessary for anyone who has a boss. Perhaps you might want to borrow my crystal ball?

"I feel like tomorrow i am going to be sitting in a rocking chair on a porch somewhere, surrounded by 17 cats."

This is prety much exactly how I feel summed up quite nicely. Dear time, slow down already.