I watched Being John Malkovich last weekend and for some reason it made me think a lot about death. I guess it was because I started thinking about conciousness and what makes us who we are. Really it is ONLY our brain that makes us do the things we do, and so if we don't have our brain, we are dead. In an abstract if not completely exact way.
I mean. I think about death anyway. It doesn't take much to set me off. Seeing the Grand Canyon made me think how small we all are, how we could fall in this giant hole in the ground and that? Would be that.
So then when my cousin called me yesterday to say my grampa had died, I wasn't sure what to do. It seems like it sneaks up out of nowhere. Especially when 6 months ago he was throwing the first ball out at the Tigers Game and being featured in the paper for being a top fundraiser for the MS ride. And now he is gone. And we are all kind of lost.
I will be heading out to Michigan soon to be with my family and cry and to try and wrap my head about death that is too close and too real. I wish I could just go back to thinking about death because of a movie. Like I could a week ago.
I wish I could talk to him. I wish I could give a him a hug.
But I can't.
