- New Kids on the Block "will be your boyfriend til the song goes off". What the foo does that mean? Long enough to get a blowjob, I guess?
- I don't think God gives a damn about if Rascal Flats win an American Music Award.
- Oh my god, Scott Weiland is INCREDIBLY DRUNK. He can't even read the teleprompter! And he is introducing Pink singing "Sober". HA. Wow. That was painful.
- Pink needs to lighten up on the hair dye. My hair looked like that once, when I dyed it too many times in a row.
- I don't care about the Jonas Brothers at all. Probably because I am over 16. Why is it that the heartthrob boys are always the ones who are feminine? Because they are not threatening? I always liked the bad vampires like Kiefer Sutherland in Lost Boys. I don't know what that says about me.
- Another thing I lost after puberty, the ability to understand the appeal of someone like Miley Cyrus. She sounds like an old aunt who smokes a pack a day. How does a 16 year old girl get that speaking voice?
- Dear Chris Martin, put your arms down. You are not Bono. And what are their weird faux military outfits about? They look like they just crossed Cold Mountain. Only like the happy Disney version of it. Complete with arm bands and skipping.
- Richie Sambora is puffy. Not like the rapper but like actually bloated in the face.
- Two nominees for Pop/Rock Album. TWO. And one of them is the Eagles. WTH.
- Alicia Keys reminds me of some kind of lady shaman. And she is thanking God too. Seriously GOD HAS OTHER THINGS GOING ON. I am glad Mariah Carey covered her midriff for once. She is almost 40, so it's time.
- Nick Lachey. Eh. Why?
