pretty crabby

Clearly we do not know how to maximize the video chat.

Clearly we do not know how to maximize the video chat., originally uploaded by emilym.

Cat and I chatted last night. This was when we apparently ran out of things to say and started making it into a MONKEY and KITTY cam. (things it also was, CONDOM CAM! MOUTH GUARD CAM!, ELROY CAM!, BUNNY CAM!, and PHOTO OF MY BOYFRIEND CAM!)

The video chat is strange, but also kind of nice. It is nice to see someone's face instead of always typing out into a void. Or feeling like you are.

Of course, Cat might not have completely been prepared for when my phone rang and I bent over my computer totally flashing her with my boobs. Oh, yeah... this thing is ON.

I expect you will all be sending me video chat requests now, right?

Girls rule, boys drool.

Well. This just made my day so much better.

It also fit nicely into the thought I had recently about all the douchebags I proudly supported on my bedroom wall while growing up. Along side Patrick Swayze as Johnny Castle in Dirty Dancing (a movie I saw four times in the movie theater, thank you very much), I also had an entire wall of the New Kids and, yes of course Donnie was my favorite.

There was also a season when Luke Perry lived proudly on my closet door. And lately I have been going home and watching 90210 reruns and I think Luke Perry (or Puke Larry, as the dude calls him) is kind of awesome. I think he acts with a WINK of "yes, I know this sucks. Don't hate me." Maybe I am reading too much into it. See in particular this awesome video, brought to my attention by Brian Byrne. Dylan acts like an asshole! He throws wine bottles! He almost punches Brandon in his smug face! Woo! PS. Weird hair Jennie Garth, who are you, Dharma?

Well, that's all I've got today.

This one's for my homies.

So. I've had a rough week. I took my earlier post about it down because I don't want one post to define what is going on with me. It is bigger than a post on a weblog could ever be. It matters to me so much more than that.

To top it all off, on Thursday I cried in front of my boss. I don't know if I am in the right job. And I keep saying that, I have said it for years. I wonder how to change that and what to do next. Everything seems so big and so complicated right now and that is just one more thing I am thinking about. I am taking things one day at a time. I am trying and trying and trying.

One thing that has helped this week is all the love I have gotten from the Internet.

When I moved to California in 1997 the Internet was my life line to my friends. The friends I had for years, the friends who were my family. I spent hours on the Internet sending emails back and forth and then I started surfing the web (late to the party as usual) more and more. I got an office job in 98 and that cinched it. I started to find blogs and talk to people around the world. The Internet became a way to meet friends, not just keep in touch with the ones I already had.

I felt them all this week, my Internet friends. Sarah Hatter sent me flowers. Sarah Brown emailed me every day to see how I was. Caitlin and Wendy and Cat IM'd me every day to see what was up. The Byrne Unit made me laugh. I got lovely emails from Danielle, and Heather, and Kristin, and Angela. Everyone offered an ear and support, if I needed it. I felt like you all had my back and that made me feel less alone. You guys are awesome, you warmed my heart.

I realize I don't have to call you "my Internet friends" anymore. I can just call you friends.

Thanks.

There's so much past inside my present

I am starting off the new year by stealing. I got this idea from Erin who got it from Heather B. and Schmutzie. The Internet, one big orgy of stolen ideas! Hurrah!

The idea was to go back and pick one post you like best from the last year. So, here are mine. Happy New Year.

• January - Fare Thee Well
• February - um, I didn't write a thing in February. I moved, shit happened.
• March - Who's gonna throw the first stone...
• April - I want some sugar on my tongue.
• May - I wrote one post in May. May was hard.
• June - 7 minutes in heaven.
• July - This one
• August - The sun in California, it drops right into the sea.
• September - Elementary
• October - Things I loved at 15
• November - Conclusion
• December - Honey, you're the rock upon which I stand

In honor of the new year, I added a new blog category called simply enough, Writing. I hope to do more of that this year.

Let's! Get! Beautiful!

I have launched a new little beauty site. I thought I should use my powers for good. Who knows if a weblog is GOOD but whatever, I needed another way to kill time at work. You know how it is.

Check it out and let me know what you think.

http://tallulah-blue.com/

And you are?

I am going to steal my friend Wendy's idea and ask you to answer a couple questions for me. I know I have a lot of people stopping by, so far this week there were 410 of you! Taiwan, India, the UK, New Zealand, you all visited me!

So, in light of my day, please post me a comment and answer these questions:

1. Where the heck are you?

2. Tell me something about yourself.

3. What's the best thing (your favorite thing, whatever) about your life?

Thank you.

Three, oh three, is a magic number.

Hey, Pretty Crabby is three years old! It is now forming full sentences and getting really pissed if you don't give it that toy RIGHT THIS MINUTE. You can't reason with PC now, three years old will not be rational!

My actual online anniversary (god, how lame) is a few months before when I made myself a blogspot blog. I did this mostly because I was spending all my time at work reading other people's blogs and thinking "HA THAT IS SO FUNNY maybe I could write something which is only half as good!" I set very high goals for myself, clearly.

I did not know I would meet a lot of cool people and they would buy me shots and let me sleep on their couch and send me presents and just be generally pretty fucking awesome. Even when people steal writing from you (which happened this week, how weird) you don't get mad, you just think "hey, get a life, douchebag!"

Anyway, I hope someday I can be in one big room with all the cool people I have met on the interwebs. You are all super cool and I'm glad to know you.

Happy Birthday, Pretty Crabby!

7 minutes in heaven

Miss Cat tagged me to write about 7 things about me. Just 7 things? 7 things you don't know? I am not sure of the parameters but here goes.

1. When I was eight I went to Canada with my dad and his partner and I spent much of the time in the back seat with many pillows and blankets and my walkman playing True Blue by Madonna and learning all the words. I was called Princess Fluff (cause of all the pillows and blankets!). Fear me.

2. I know my boyfriend about four different ways. The world, it is small. For example, he used to play in a band with a boring guy I dated; I am friends with his ex girlfriend (and no, it's not weird, thanks for asking!) and his ex girlfriend also used to work with my dad's partner. So, in conclusion, he could not hide from me. Live it learn it love it.

3. I am sitting here writing this in my underwear watching Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D List. Bet you didn't know THAT about me!

4. I don't have a hair goal and that saddens me. Lately I have been wearing it wavy and letting it be who it is, but I need more products. Maybe my hair goal will be something like Charlie's Angel's era Drew Barrymore with the long curly waves. Is that unrealistic? I want Botticelli hair! I want to wake up with cherubs flying around me and harps playing!

5. Lately my favorite nail polishes are Oh... to be 25 again by OPI and this one called Linger by China Glaze. I wear it on my nails and feel like a soccer mom who just got a fancy makeover. I don't know what this says about me.

6. I can't stop Twittering. I also keep checking Goodreads yet haven't picked up my book in about two weeks. The Internet, it is sucking out my brains.

7.  They have free coffee at my temp job and last week this took an exciting and unforeseen turn when free ICED coffee appeared. I was so thrilled about this! And now I have been drinking about five large iced coffees a day. Perhaps this explains all the crazy dreams. Hmm...

Now I am supposed to tag seven people. Who do I want to inflict this horror upon? Maybe Erin, Angela, Jen, Wendy, and Holly. I can't think of seven.  I need more coffee.

The itching and the burning.

I know it is so very over to write about what search strings people use to find me but all I have to say to the person who found me by searching for "wheat pussy girls" is that it sounds like some kind of a yeast infection to me.

They make a cream for that, baby.

Here is what you should do

Go read this.

If you aren't reading Sarah Brown and you don't have a huge crush on her, then something is wrong with you and you should go to the doctor like RIGHT THIS MINUTE and find out why your life has no meaning. Go ahead. I'll wait.

And read all the comments, because the one I just posted (towards the end) cracks me up and it is totally true.

Those Cannuks love to learn.

Sarah deconstructs Nickelback’s “Photograph”:

""Every memory of looking out the back door
I Had the photo album spread out on my bedroom floor
It’s hard to say it
Time to say it
Goodbye, Goodbye"

Who is he saying goodbye to? The photo album? The people in it? Is this entire song a poorly constructed metaphor? Reconsider."

Five, oh five, it's a magic number.

Sarah made me do this. A lovely list of five of my weird habits. I wish I could say it was hard to think of five, because you know I have hardly any being SO PERFECT and all.

1. I am totally ritualistic about about my blankets and sheets. To the point of being annoying. I don't sleep with a top sheet, mainly because I hate the way it can get all tangled around my feet. Or worse, the way it can get ALL WRINKLY. Horrors! Before Christmas I was a guest at someones house and while I was laying in this bed I was trying my best to smile and not notice the blanket point was poking up in my face. My brain was saying "GAH! THINGS ARE WRONG!" as I was looking down, SMILING, at everything more than slightly askew. The sheet gathered into a kind of tether which was wrapped around my legs. How did that happen? All I did was get in and cover up!? I ended up having to kick everyone off the bed, kitty included, while I TOTALLY REMADE THE BED. As I was shaking the comforter out to be EVEN and STRAIGHT, I knocked down some lights. Um, yeeeeeeeeah. I was met with a knowing look and, "so, are you done?" What can I say? I am particular. I am The Princess and The Pea.

2. I hate when someone reads one of my magazines before I get to it. I like it to be FRESH. This can actually be blamed on an upstairs neighbor I once had. She mentioned that she liked her magazines to be CRISP and NEW when she opened them and maybe I had just never realized it but I thought "HEY! I like that too!" and now I am doomed. Thanks, Upstairs Weirdo (who also wore loud heels on the woodfloor at 3AM. Let's face it, she was kind of a dink) for showing me the dark side! Anyway, now I have to be the first person to read my new magazines AND I am relentless about picking an unblemised copy if I buy a magazine in the store. Which I shouldn't really be since once I get home and flip through them once, they spend most of their life on my floor. Then I finally give up a month later and throw them away. BUT, Sweet Baby Jesus, THEY WERE FRESH WHEN I BOUGHT THEM.

3. I believe in fate and that things happen for a reason. I also believe in this ONE Kabbalah principle about their being meaning in everyone you encounter throughout the day, even the assholes who annoy you in transit and the person who makes you your coffee. Everyone! I don't know what the PURPOSE of any of these interactions are when they happen (well, I usually don't) but it makes me feel better to feel like "well, WHO KNOWS?" and then just go about my day. I don't sit around obsessing about it, but I feel comforted by believing that there is a point to all this day to day junk. Or what may SEEM like junk at the time. This is maybe not a HABIT but I do think about it a fair amount, so that's what you are getting.

4. I watch DVD's and old movies when I clean. I didn't even realize this was a habit until I looked over at my VCR and saw Sleepless in Seattle sitting there. A movie I have seen probably 10 times. And I kind of hate Meg Ryan! Yet the other Sunday when I was going to do some cleaning up, I put it on in the background while I wandered around, folding laundry and cleaning the bathroom. Other things I regularly watch are Sex and the City DVDs, many of which I am totally sick of, yet I figure "well, when the boring parts are on I will just be doing other stuff." I like to have background noise, yet also something that distracts me. It keeps me from completely losing interest in the cleaning and just sitting there and staring at the wall. I can watch the parts I think are funny or whatever, and while the rest is on, I listen to it in the background like a song. Is this weird of me? Other movies which I like for this purpose: Almost Famous, Say Anything, Royal Tennebaums, and Bridget Jones Diary. All of which I have watched approximately 5 to 76 times. All of which I am sure I will watch again. Hey, it's Sunday which is CLEANING DAY.

5. I can't stop eating cheese. Yep, that is #5. CHEESE. I love it. If I cut cheese (hee) out of my diet, I would probably be a skinny little thing. Oh well. Not gonna happen. I read recently that cheese has some kind of thing in common with opium. Something in it makes your brain go "OOOO, good!" When I heard this I thought maybe I should start taking opium. It might be better for me.

I am not passing this onto five people because I don't feel like it but if Jen, Caitlin, and Mrs. Kennedy feel like writing about their weird little quirks, well, I hope they will.

Four by Four

Brian tapped me to do this. I have never been tapped before! Oh, that sounds dirty. And sad. So I actually HAVE been tapped before...and, oh, now look what I've done. Perhaps I should just answer the questions or something.

Four Jobs You’ve Had in Your Life: Camp counselour to a group of ten 8-Year-Old girls, a clerk at a dish store (horrible job); admin assitant all over the place; and a receptionist at a chiropractors office.

Four Movies You Could Watch Over and Over: Lost in Translation (for Bill Murray alone); The Royal Tennenbaums; Almost Famous; and Secretary.

Four Places You’ve Lived: Oakland, California; Middlebury, Vermont; Cambridge and Boston (Jamaica Plain!), MA.

Four TV Shows You Love to Watch: Everwood; Lost; Americas Next Top Model and basically if there is a crime show on, I'll watch it.

Four Places You’ve Been on Vacation: London; Edinburgh; Various lovely places in Italy (Siena, Rome, Florence, CAPRI!) and Nova Scotia.

Four Websites You Visit Daily: Flickr, Cainer, CNN, and Bloglines (for handy lists of all the blogs I like to read).

Four of Your Favorite Foods: Cheese, fish, peanut butter and carbs.

Four Places You’d Rather Be: On a beach; in London; at dinner someplace with my closest friends; or with a certain boy.

Four Albums You Can’t Live Without: Liz Phair, Exile in Guyville; Jen Trynin, Gun Shy Trigger Happy; Frank Black and the Catholics, Black Letter Days; and some Ben Lee (Hey You, Yes You or Breathing Tornados).

I guess I shall tap Angie, Joolie, and Cat to do this, if they want to.

Awesome update.

Yesterday I searched high and low for sales for the Awesome site and found some pretty good things.

Also, lovely Gabrielle from Soleberry is offering Awesome readers an exclusive deal - click on over Awesome to check it out.

Happy Thursday!

If you look closely you'll

If you look closely you'll see that I took down everything about Bob. Apparently what I thought was just my way of working through my OWN shit turned into this big mess of my putting way too much information out here in the information age. I would never hurt someone that I cared about on purpose but he didn't have any idea that all this stuff was OUT THERE, and of course it all being just from me, it was obviously one sided.

So, it's gone. That's all.

Hit it!

Am in the process of rebuilding my template and putting up my new BEAUTIFUL (more pretty! Less crabby!) logo from Sarah Hatter.

Keep hitting refresh as things are going to be changing here for the next 24 hours or so.

Awesome!

Sarah Hatter invited me to join this new cool site she started called Awesome! Check it out. I am excited.

Awesome! (okay, I'll stop now)

A close relative of Crabby

I came home and tried to lay down for awhile while the fucker outside with the leafblower went around and around my apartment. SHUT UP. Then I finally I got up and went upstairs to get my mail.

Lookee what I got!

Don't you think FUSSY is so closely related to CRABBY? Yes, I do too. A very perfect anniversary gift!

I just ate a veggie enchilada and now I feel much better. I can't wait to go to bed, at precisely 8PM.

Not so crabby now

Mrs. Kennedy added me to her links! I haven't been so excited since Sarah Brown put me on her links list! Oh, and Angela! And Jen B! And Cait!

Seriously, it's still like Internet Friendship Pins to me and now I am getting them from all the kids I like the most. I picture them all at the coolest table in the cafeteria. Of course, right before I sit down I go and drop my tray. And everyone applauds. But today, I don't care. I just bow.

I heart you, Internet.

PS. I have coffee and music and my apartment ALL TO MYSELF (aside from Licky Balderson over there) and what is better than that? God bless Saturday mornings.

Bag me, baby.

Three lovely ladies (Cat, Joolie, and Angie) sent me bag requests and I am so excited to make bags for them because they are all so nice and oh so pretty! And not at all because they each offered to send me something too. I didn't even think about that! Whee, stuff! I love the Internet.

So, now I have to make some bags! They really don't take me very long, but I haven't shaved my legs in five days so that tells you how very ON TOP OF THINGS I am of late.

Basically, you gals should look for your bags sometime in the next few months. Or years! Ha!

I think three is enough, so the que is now closed. You snooze, you lose! I still love you though. Really!

She loves bacon and has some babies.

Angela at Fluid Pudding added me to her blogroll.

I love her. She is so funny. And she has amazingly cute children. Go visit her now.

That's all.

Upping those pervert stats again.

I really like these for some reason, even though they are completely precious and twee.

Al and I decided the only way to really do it would be to engrave it with something totally dirty and scandelous. Like CUNT.

17 days to my birthday!

Reason 15,678 Why I love the Internet.

People who make things like this are just my kindred spirits. They warm my heart with their mean bitter humor. It's touching really.

Happy Monday!

Hey, poker people.

My hits have been WAY UP THERE for the last week (which you wouldn't be able to tell by ALL MY MANY COMMENTS. Hello?!?) and I just checked my stats to see that I am getting a TON of traffic from some (at least four) diffferent poker sites. When I click the links, I see NOTHING ABOUT ME on there and can't understand how people are getting to me from there. What does it all mean?? What's happening? Someone explain it to me.

I am confused.

More than enough.

I was just cleaning out my Spam email and noticed the subject of one was "Caroline can do it all. And much much more!"

And this annoyed me. Not for any weird feminist reasons - cause, hey, good for Caroline! And good for whoever Caroline is with. I am sure he is one happy man. And other man. And woman.

But, hello? She can do it ALL and MUCH MUCH MORE? Um. If you do it ALL - you can't do MORE. WHAT IS MORE THAN ALL?

Man. Maybe I should be a writer for the porn industry. I bet they could use me, at least grammar wise.

Why? Because I said so.

You know if you read this little site regularly (or semi-regularly or hardly ever) that I love my blog. I mean, I have a compulsion for trying to get it to look a certain way and I delete posts that I somehow deem unworthy of what I really want to say. I remember a friend asking me why I want to have something on the (dun dun DUUUN!) Internet where EVERYONE can see it when I could do the writing I want to do in a JOURNAL or somewhere that would be private, instead of in this very public and EXPOSED way. And I think the underlying question is what makes me think I have anything interesting to say that hasn't been said a MILLION TIMES BEFORE.

Well, I don't really know the answer to any of those questions. I don't know why I want people to read what I am saying, why I so rabidly want comments and feedback and to feel like 'you like me, you REALLY LIKE ME!' That's no different from most people, I mean, we all want to be liked on some level. But, here I am paying for this site and writing things and publishing them for whatever reason. Lately, I have been getting a lot of lovely emails from people and some blogs have deemed me good enough to actually link to me! Which strikes me as just SO NICE. Not only are THEY reading me but they want OTHER PEOPLE to read me too! Aw, SHUCKS!

People send me emails when I don't post for awhile to see if I am okay and to tell me to get my shit back in gear, and people wish me well with job interviews...I mean it's just, for lack of a better term, kind. Today a lovely girl who would like to be anonymous gave me a Pro account on Flickr. Just gave it to me! Again, SO NICE. Thanks, Mystery Girl! YOU ROCK! Photos for everyone!

I guess the best way to put it - why I have this blog - is that it's nice to have a voice. Yes, it's a teeny tiny corner of cyberspace, but it's MINE. (All mine!) And, to have it HERE is great because I heart the Internet. I have met friends through it, people so dear to my heart that I can't possibly explain it here. I have been able to go to amazing places and see awesome shows and communicate with people I think are just swell. And I think this World Wide Web gets a bum rap a lot of the time, with charming porn sites and freaks who hide behind identities which are not theirs, but there are freaks and weirdos in real life too. Of all the people I have met "here", and met later in real life have been nothing but sweet, lovely, and sure, a bit wacky. But you have to be a bit wacky to be worth a damn, between you and me.

Sometimes it can be lonely posting into the void, because you think you are writing something great, and then no one responds and it feels like its just lost. But I still SAID IT, and I put it out there and it was something I needed to say. For whatever reason, I wanted to put it here.

I haven't exactly completely figured it all out yet. But I'm glad if anyone likes what I have to say, and even if you don't - I'll keep saying it. Yon can't shut me up. Don't even try! And if you decide you DO like it, please send cheese and cute shoes. Size 8.

Google is my pimp and sugar daddy

You may notice I put Google Adsense on the page here. I know, many people think it is facist and horrible to do but to them I say - feel free to not read. Avert your eyes! Click away! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! It's all about choice, baby. And I choose to whore myself out for cash on my little bitty blog. So far I have earned approximately $2. With this $2 I vow to buy coffee and write more craziness and crabbiness. This is my solemn vow to you!

Anyway, I am not supposed to encourage anyone to click on it. So, don't click on it. It would be bad. VERY BAD! And I would totally not buy any of my friends presents with any money I earn from it. So, don't do it. Do you hear me? DO NOT DO IT!

I was interested in the ad that just popped up and I clicked on it myself (which you should absolutely not do) and it was something about Large People. Largedates.com? Something like that. Chubbychasers.net! I am sure that it is a site and I will not be checking it, but if you must, feel free. If nothing else, apparently some fetish boys will like Giant Face. Giant Face does not fear them! They LOVE Giant Face!

The Internet is such a sweet wholesome place, don't you think?

EW.

I am kind of grossed out by this search string someone used to find me recently: "toddler problem eating boogers". I don't think I have EVER mentioned eating boogers, at least, if I did I must have been high because I do not remember it at all.

So, yeah... good luck with that. Parenthood = not for the weak of heart.

The new Rabbit Rabbit?

I just got this email:

"Call out Gouranga be happy!!!
Gouranga Gouranga Gouranga ....
That which brings the highest happiness!!"

Um. What?

I guess it couldn't help. GOURANGA!

Am I in a cult now?

Fragile.

Wow, you feel sorry for yourself and then you read something like this - which puts everything in perspective.

I really think Kim is awesome, she writes recaps on TWoP which always make me laugh and laugh. Anyway, I don't know her but you grow attached when you read what someone writes everyday and I'll be thinking about her now.

Hey? HI! Watch THIS!

I think one common thing about blogs is that we all want people to comment. Every blog I stop at has people outright PLEADING for commenters. What is wrong with us? Why do we NEED this validation so intensely?

It reminds me of being a kid, and BEGGING your parents to look at you. You dance around the room, you jump off the couch, you do a sommersault,is anyone watching?? I mean, how many times did you say "LOOK AT ME, Mom!" or "Dad, ARE YOU WATCHING? Watch ME! WATCH!!!' Over and over until they would scream back "I'M WATCHING!" Probably thinking ("God, why doesn't she DO anything?")

I think wanting comments is the grownup way of being all; hey, are you watching? Watch me! Do you see me? LOOK! Look at MEEEEEEE! WHY AREN'T YOU LOOKING AT ME? Aren't I FANTASTIC! WAAATCH!!!

My little friend Ellery was recently begging me to watch him do something. For 10 minutes it was all
"Look over here!" and "Emily, WATCH!" Finally, I said, EYES BUGGED OUT OF MY HEAD "I can't watch you ANY HARDER THEN I AM!"

Comments = the bored grownup for people with blogs.

PS. Can you see my logo? Huh? Huh? CAN YOU?

Do it for Phil.

I am breaking away from another thrilling Saturday night (watching Freaks and Geeks. I swear, I went to high school with Ken. He is SO FAMILIAR) - to ask anyone reading this to go say HI to Miss Doxie who will donate one buck for every comment to ACS. She is doing it for her Uncle Phil who I don't know but obviously believe to be super awesome since he knows lovely Leigh in any small way.

It's the Internets, and it's a whole weird crazy world where people get sick, and other people care. So, go be part of it and say HI for Phil.

You so totally ROCK.

Part Time Lover

Dear Wireless Internet,

I just don’t understand you.

I know you don’t belong to me. I know that when we met you were on the rebound. From the one who you actually belong to, the one who actually BOUGHT YOUR LOVE. But you wooed me with the fact that you were always there for me, with your fast service and your easy ways. I know it was no mistake that you were always coming on strongest when I was in my bed. Especially when I was sitting in the one corner, closest to the TV. I know how you like it, Wireless, in that cool blue glow.

Sometimes you really amazed me. The way you could download that song in less than a minute. BOOM, suddenly it was all mine - where with that fucker, Dial Up, it seriously took an hour to get there. I mean, you knew what I had time for, and I was an impatient girl with places to go and people to see. With Dial Up, I always had to fake it, and I was really only thinking of you, my sweet badass Wireless.

There were times when I would look for you ten times a day, and every time I called your name the same message came back “unavailable". Why do you have to be like that? I know I don’t own you, but you promised me something when you first came in my room and made my Internet service so speedy. Now that I have seen how you roll, I just can’t go back to the way it used to be. Your love was good to me, and it’s all I want to know. I just want to be with you, Wireless. Let’s not play games. I would never abandon you, so how can you abandon me?

You never come on that strong, and I am always checking to see if your signal will be stronger over there. I know you don’t like it when I chase you, but what am I supposed to do? In THAT corner of the room, the most you ever give me is two bars. If that is the way it has to be, I can live with that. I’ll take what I can get, and if that’s all of you I can have - well, then, I am okay with that. It’s not the way I want it to be but it’s the way it is.

I love you, Wireless. Please, never go. I can’t go back to my life before you and I don’t know how to live in with that bitch, Dial Up.

We can make it work. I know we can.

Speedy when you need me,
Yours alone,
Emily